So many things ....

My mind won't be still, it's running in so many directions that I feel like I'm spinning round and round. Hey... wasn't that a song? LOL

My heart and mind are heavy with some things going on and it's hard to focus at times. The partner with kidney cancer is in the hospital this week getting is first IL2 treatment. He had the cancerous kidney removed in November, but there are spots on his lungs and liver. We all need to keep him in our prayers and remain positive, but some days it's hard. The workload at work has been tremendous. Any time you take a 3 person office and have someone out for 3 months now.... it's hard to keep up with everything. I seriously need to get the end of year books and stuff done but I can't seem to catch up enough. My house has turned into a disaster area as a result of taking on extra hours, etc..... I need a day or two off to get caught up. Good news is we are going to get someone in here to help us out for a little while. He's going to start on Monday, but of course that's more work for me getting him set up and situated! Bad timing, but at this point I'm not sure there is good timing.

I'm behind in design stuff which is bothering me. I really started the year out with some good ideas and feeling good about trying to stay on top of things. I have to tell you I have those days that I totally understand the number of designers that are "retiring". I've contemplated it myself at times. It's a tough situation sometimes. Don't take me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE designing. It truly fulfills me in a way I can't describe. However, sometimes trying to keep up with the responsibilities at the stores/forums, etc. start to put even more pressure on and I wonder why I'm putting myself through it? I don't have time to scrap for myself and my family which I promised myself I would do better about this year. The number of pages I did last year were dismal at best. There are days that I think I should just stop designing and scrap for myself. Participate in challenges, play, etc. BUT did I mention I LOVE designing? I don't advertise like I should (it's a huge time factor) and therefore my sales aren't what I'd hoped they be at this point. BUT I LOVE designing. See my dilemna?

Ok, enough whining. Sorry for the heavy post ... sometimes I need to think/type these things out loud and that's what a blog is for. Right? Off to get back to work and make a list of things I need to get done. I promise to be back in better form next time.